I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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