I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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