I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
