I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
