u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
