Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
