My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
