dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
