oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
tell me about the fingering
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