I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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