I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Buhtt sex?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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