I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
