I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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