She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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