i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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