escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
