she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
