I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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