Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
