Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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