uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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