Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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