omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
