When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
