the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
COCAINE IS GR8
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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