We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
