its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
