Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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