I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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