I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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