I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
