there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
