dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
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you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
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It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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