Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize