Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
