i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
