we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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