Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
