apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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