Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
