Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
