Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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