So drunk its hurt
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
