Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
