So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
