Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
