i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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