did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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