I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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