no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
