Are we in a gay sports bar?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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