just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
