gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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