1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Randomize
