Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
