Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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