My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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