Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
