i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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