I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
