This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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