Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
