I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
